Restore the relationship with my family

Last Sun in the camp, God urged me to restore my relationship with my family. God made me see that the hurt I got from my family and the absence of love, which had great impact on my relationships with other people. In the past, I didn't get the love I seeked from my family. So I seeked love from teachers and friends. That was also the reason why I got hurt from people too because the love i'm seeking for could not be found from them. I always gave so much and burned myself with my own passion. And the person who received my love feels stressed. However, I didn't realise that the root of the problems was buried since young. Yes I want someone who can love me as mom and dad...and of course I failed and failed and hurt. Sometimes I do live in self-pity. But praise God that He made me face the problems!
This Thur, I rang my mom. God put courage in me so I told what I felt in the past and apologized that I used to love ppl around me and ministry more than to love my family first. I apologized that I was judgemental towards my family, which was pride as well. After my sharing, my mom told me she was touched! God seemed has anwsered many of her questions. Praise the LORD!!! I've never been so open to my mom before. But with God's strength, He broked the wall piece by piece. He will keep working in my family!!

Thanksgiving and praises in my heart!

Dear Lord, I humble myself before you today. Fater, forgive me when I come to you in prayer with my long list that I want you to fulfill. Help me to worship and praise You in my prayers rather than telling You what I want You to do. Even as I go about my day at university, help me to maintain an attitude of praise and worhsip. May I be able to declare and proclaim Your power and Your sovereignty to every person that I meet today.
Lord, You are so amazing! You take care of every creation. All of the materials in my textbook reveal your glory and power! You even take care of bacteria and virus! "Praise the Lord, O my soul; all my inmost being, praise his holy name."
In Jesus' name, Amen!

weekly reflection

Last week has been a tough week for me. First of all, he materials in lectures became sophistaced, full of Latin and Greek. My speed of understanding and absorption seems really slow and inefficient, which depressed me a lot. Besides, the results of the test came out---not good I think. But it's understandable since I didn't put much effort. Thirdly, frustrated with my English. Maybe the reason is that I didn't speak english during Easter break, but I just could not use English to explian my logical thinking, even when chatting with course mates. In addition, I was kind of homesick. Maybe just felt a bit lonely. hm...the feelings is beyond words. I would say it's just light blue. Last and most important to me is the relationship between God. I didn't have intimacy with God this week, espacially when haveing 8am lectures. However, I came before God yesterday, having a long long prayer and I found the real me, standing barely before Him, without any cangue nor chains. Through the prayer, God revealed my supressed emotion again. Yeah, I cried before Him and laid on all my burdens and sorrows. It was hard to release my tightly grabbing hands but when I tried to release one, all the other things came out spontaneously.

Refresh me every moment!Lord!

Recently I have been busy serving in many ministries.(hm...feel sth wrong with my grammar.) Today after the service, suddenly I felt so tired and stressed. Not only because of the coming exam on Monday, but also of the dissappointment of myself. I still remember two weeks ago Christina shared about her stress and tiredness when she had so many works to do and so many commitments. "Yeah, I can totally understand" I thought, since I have similar experience when I was a cell group leader in Taiwan. The experience to be crushed and broken was so horrible. Even though I believe that by God's grace I can always survive and if the center of ministry is Him rather than me, I can always be balanced, it's still hard. SO HARD for me! On the train home, I prayed and asked God to forgive my complains, weakness and the tendoncy to do things by my own strength(I can already see the tragedy if I keep grabing all the things in my hands). "What's the purpose you do these ministries? What's the purpose of studying? If the purpose is to glorify me, why do you complain that you have less time to study? If the purpose is to glorify me, you will be GLAD to sacrifice rather than ending up self-pity!" Yeah! I know. But how come I always forget and so easily to become self-centered rather than God-centered? I don't want the previous horrible experience happens again. I want to have a whole new attitude when I serve. I want to glorify Your name ALL THE TIME. So please God, please refresh me every moment. Please remind me and give me strength to lay EVERYTHING in Your hand. Please make me depend on you ALL THE TIME!
差事與事奉
有些人在教會裡有差事，也有些人在教會裡事奉，分別在哪裡？
倘若你做是因為沒有人做，那就是差事。
倘若你做是因為要服事主，那就是事奉。

若有批評的時候你就不做，那就是差事。
若在批評下你仍不斷地做，那就是事奉。

若你是在不受影響下才做，那就是差事。
若你要犧牲也不停地去做，那就是事奉。

若你在當中很難得到滿足，那就是差事。
若你在當中時常得到滿足，那就是事奉。

若你所關心的是成功與否，那就是差事。
若你所關心的是盡忠與否，那就是事奉。

一般的教會都塞滿了做差事的人，
而興旺的教會卻塞滿了事奉的人。

而我們自己又如何呢？
若神叫你去事奉，就不要當作一件差事。
若你正在做差事，辭掉他而去一生事奉。
神不要我們在差事上打轉，卻願我們盡心盡性地事奉。

別人陪你走一里路，你願意陪人多走二里路嗎？


共勉之