Feeling alone, again.
Am I walking alone again?
A desire to be understood, esp by people I love, people I care, why is it so hard?
Why....why does the voice of judgement and misunderstanding chase me again and again?
How can you judge me even before truly understand me?
How can you judge me from the appearance when you know what kind of person I am?
Am I really disobedient, sturborn, trying to avoid, putting men above God, self-centred, selfpity, keeping making wrong decision due to my blindness in your eyes?
Lord, I know You are always always beside me.
Lord, I know You always always love me.
Lord, I know when no one in the world is with me, when no one understand, You know, You care, You love.
Lord, I don't want to be cynical, I really really don't want to be angry or dissappointed especailly at people I love so much. But I so want them to understand me, love me as a person, as a child You created....whether I'm a good person or not, I'm on fire or dry, I'm on the mountain top or the valley...I still wish they can love me as who I really am.
Lord, I'm tired...really....have been trying so hard to be exposed, trying to fit in, trying to be vunerable, trying to be understood...but why in the end, You are still the only who is beside me? Therefore, I don't wanna explain anymore....I'm tired Lord...exhausted....
Explain again and again, showing you what kind of person again and again, originally I thought you may see me...truly see me, without my explanation, without defending, without .....forgive me please, I'm just very...very...exhausted and frustrated.
Some lyrics said You are all I need. I want to say that too....but I can't deny the desire to be understood, the desire to be loved as I've given out.
At the same time, Lord, I wanna thank You for loving me. Now I know how hard it is to love unconditionally....without You, without Your love, I will just burn myself from the limited love I have.
Thank You Lord, for being with me....
When there's sunshine, You are with me.
When there's cloud, You are with me.
When there are people surrounded, You are with me.
When no one is here, You are with me.
When I'm crazy about You, You are with me.
When I don't recoginse You, You are with me.
When I'm high, when I'm down, when joyful, when there's sorrow, when flying, when running, when walking, when dragging, You are with me.
我雖行過死蔭的幽谷,卻不怕遭害,因祢與我同在.
謝謝祢, 阿爸父神.
