sharing and confidentiality

In an ideal church, people share their struggles, their problems, their joy and thus having true fellowship and grow together in Christ's love.

Why would people enclose their inner beings and get closer and closer? Because they trust each other and know that they are loved without being judged, knowing that they can trust this person without ending up with gossip spread around.

However, I do not find this confidentiality in my church.

Things are spread around. People gossip and tell each other "Do you know this so and so break up with so and so.." "Oh I don't want to end up with so and so with this problem".

And the saddest thing is....even when confronted with "Why are people talking about things that should kept between themselves?" They said, "talking about it is human nature....and sometimes we are not gossipping, we are just caring"

Do you know why patients share their most private problems to the doctor? Because even in the first year of medical school, we are taught again and again in terms of the confidentiality.

Do you know why would alcoholic anonymous work? Because it is ANONYMOUS! People feel the true freedom of telling the group "Hi my name is John and I'm a drug addict and alcoholic!". Instead of being judged, these people embrace each other and truly help each other with the problems.

In the past, I was very naive and simply share whatever in my mind, even my personal life and struggles. This was because God has opened up and "onioin skins"/shell and help me face with lots of things I used to refused to face. However, when knowing what kind of values and things people do, I've made up my mind. I feel sad and disappointed because this is not the church God wanted! In addition, they don't even realise this is wrong! Gossiping about people's lives has revealed the judgemental mentality and how can you expect true fellowship?

God, have mercy on my church. I want to truly love my church . I want to see the church manifest with Your love so that people around can see we are Your children.
However, at the moment I feel that I'm walking into a herd of lions, looking for "material" to "talk about" on dinner table. At the same times, instead of focusing on You alone, I felt stumbled and being hurt again and again. Lord, forgive me if I've offended You in any way. I'd like to ask for guidence and Your eyes towards the church.